Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
