I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
