im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize