But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
