(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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