Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
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Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.