I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.