I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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