It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
