And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
