so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
