a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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