I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
