I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
