i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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