Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
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She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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