Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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