Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
