apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
