he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i drank out of a bidet.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
