I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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