I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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