When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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