mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
