Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
