Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
where are my eyebrows?
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