I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
