I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
