i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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