Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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