yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
