For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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