in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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