ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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