Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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