I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
