i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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