Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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