omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
