If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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