Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize