I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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