Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
