i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
did you just send me my own nude
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
