There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
