genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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