You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just invented taco cereal.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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