my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
