omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
