then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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