So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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