i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
