The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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