My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
