***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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