At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
