# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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