party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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