Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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