So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
