Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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