Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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