so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
