She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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