i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
