break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
