How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
