Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
