Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
