Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
